Have you fallen for a guy in another city? Do you find yourself worrying about how to conquer the challenge posed by the miles between you? Are you dying for some solid long-distance relationship advice? If so, read on for some solid advice about how to know if your long-distance relationship can really stand the test of time.
Long distance relationships are a challenge. You don't get to spend time with the person enough to solidify things. It's easy to fall into a fantasy of who they are, because your connection is build on tenuous things, time spent on the phone rather than gazing in each other's eyes. Emails rather than touches. Therefore, it's important to keep the following tips in mind.
Tip #1 - Know Your End-Game
This might be the most important piece of long distance relationship advice. When you're dating someone in town, you can dawdle, take you time, and not worry about where things are going for a while. In a long-distance relationship, you need to know what the long term plan is. How long to do expect to be apart for? How do you expect to end up in the same city?
If you can't answer those questions, you need to either downgrade the relationship to a fling, or find somebody more local.
Tip #2 - Keep Your Social Life Active
A lot of people in a long-distance relationship find themselves sitting by the phone, and they neglect their real-world social life. But phone calls and IMs and skype aren't replacements for real human contact. If you want to avoid putting too much expectation on your long distance relationship, you must keep your local social life active. This also means allowing your partner to have a local social life, too. It can be hard to keep jealousy in check when he tells you about all the fun people he was hanging out with, but you have to trust him if you want him to trust you.
Tip #3 - See Each Other When You Can
This is a very important bit of long distance relationship advice, because it is a good marker of your commitment to the relationship. You need real, in-person face time to know if things have a chance of working. If you aren't making that a priority, then you're never going to know, and you'll be stuck in limbo for a very long time.
Lots of people in long-distance relationships worry about the daily phone call, text, or email, but in the grand scheme of things that is much less important that the time you get to spend together. Be relaxed about the phone calls. Appreciate the time you take with each other.
Lastly, remember that when you do visit each other, one of you is on vacation, so it's not quite the real world.
If you can follow this long distance relationship advice, you'll have a good chance of seeing if your relationship is really the thing for you, or if its just a pleasant diversion until you find someone awesome who's also local. Good luck, and remember to enjoy it! Relationships are supposed to be fun!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
How to Deal With Uncertainty in Your Relationship
When or if uncertainty, doubt, or an unsettled feeling hits your home it's time to talk. If there's one thing you should be sure of, it should be the one you love. Suspicion and mistrust does not make for a healthy loving relationship. Furtiveness should not be excused excepted or ignored. Communication is undoubtedly the only way to deal with that uncertain feeling you have.
The reason communication is important is because you need the reassurance from your partner to make that uncertainty feeling cease. Talking it out is the only way; sometimes people mistake ones actions for something that really may not be.
Take for instance your partner has been having a stressful week without your knowledge and did not want to weigh you down. However, you are feeling left out and wondering what is going on. Your mate is short with you, not hungry, sleeps whenever they can, late from work and all their normal habits has changed. You are left trying to understand their new actions. When actually they are trying to spare you from the stress they are dealing with, not knowing what this is causing you. Now if something like this is left to your imagination it will take your mind somewhere you wouldn't want to be. Communication is the tool that will help both sides of any uncertainty that might exist.
There are some cases where your uncertainty is warranted based on the actions of your mate over a period of time and these actions has proved that your mate has been untruthful, deceptive and sneaky. Communication will also lead to solid certainty of your mate. With the lines of communication constantly open if there is truly a problem this is a way to continuously work to better this problem or talk out what avenue's will need to be taken. Either way uncertainty in a relationship is a feeling that is definitely worth talking about and worth getting definite answers.
A healthy relationship is definitely certain and is not uncertain. Weather there is or is not a problem that exists or does not exist communication is the only way to get those uncertain questions answered and dealt with.
Uncertainty can be dealt with, but, it has to be dealt with, with communication. This is the way to air those uncertainties and get truthful answers. With those answers, the solutions will also come. None of this can be done without communication.
The reason communication is important is because you need the reassurance from your partner to make that uncertainty feeling cease. Talking it out is the only way; sometimes people mistake ones actions for something that really may not be.
Take for instance your partner has been having a stressful week without your knowledge and did not want to weigh you down. However, you are feeling left out and wondering what is going on. Your mate is short with you, not hungry, sleeps whenever they can, late from work and all their normal habits has changed. You are left trying to understand their new actions. When actually they are trying to spare you from the stress they are dealing with, not knowing what this is causing you. Now if something like this is left to your imagination it will take your mind somewhere you wouldn't want to be. Communication is the tool that will help both sides of any uncertainty that might exist.
There are some cases where your uncertainty is warranted based on the actions of your mate over a period of time and these actions has proved that your mate has been untruthful, deceptive and sneaky. Communication will also lead to solid certainty of your mate. With the lines of communication constantly open if there is truly a problem this is a way to continuously work to better this problem or talk out what avenue's will need to be taken. Either way uncertainty in a relationship is a feeling that is definitely worth talking about and worth getting definite answers.
A healthy relationship is definitely certain and is not uncertain. Weather there is or is not a problem that exists or does not exist communication is the only way to get those uncertain questions answered and dealt with.
Uncertainty can be dealt with, but, it has to be dealt with, with communication. This is the way to air those uncertainties and get truthful answers. With those answers, the solutions will also come. None of this can be done without communication.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Looking For An Engagement Ring? Here's What You Need To Know
Because most average guys don't regularly shop for a diamond, looking for an engagement ring can be a little overwhelming! When you are planning to propose, you hope she will say yes', the moment she just looks at the diamond. Naturally, you don't really wish to drain your whole bank account.
So how do you start?
Don't despair, worrying that you can't possibly come across something to really wow her, and still pay the utilities in the upcoming months. Yes, diamond rings are expensive, but there is a way to find a decent one without going all out financially.
You very much hope to become engaged to her. You want to impress her. You absolutely hope to give a diamond her friends will go green with envy over.
Many folks right away believe they should solely focus on how large the diamond is. For most men, they think the bigger stone is always better.
But seriously, that simply isn't a fact. If you focus on size only and compromise on other facets of its quality ranking, you could end up buying a drab, lifeless stone that looks cheap.
Diamonds are graded in four categories: carat (size), clarity, cut and color. Remembering the proper balance of those 4 big gradings will help you buy a great stone at within your means.
If you just choose a diamond because it's big, or costs less than the others, there's a serious chance that you'll be settled with a rock of lesser quality for too much money. Keep in mind, this will be her one-time-only diamond engagement ring, and for you it's the one shot at getting her to accept your proposal!
Don't forget, though, it isn't an absolute requirement to spend your complete funds on the the biggest and brightest diamond available. Buying a grade or two below absolute perfection should still yield you a very nice diamond. Without permanent debt.
The primary quality component you truly ought not to sacrifice is how well the diamond is cut. How well a diamond is cut greatly influences the amount of light rays it will reflect and therefore, how sparkly it will be. How much sparkle you can see has a lot to do with how the ring looks and a properly cut stone is certain to put a big smile on her face.
So how do you start?
Don't despair, worrying that you can't possibly come across something to really wow her, and still pay the utilities in the upcoming months. Yes, diamond rings are expensive, but there is a way to find a decent one without going all out financially.
You very much hope to become engaged to her. You want to impress her. You absolutely hope to give a diamond her friends will go green with envy over.
Many folks right away believe they should solely focus on how large the diamond is. For most men, they think the bigger stone is always better.
But seriously, that simply isn't a fact. If you focus on size only and compromise on other facets of its quality ranking, you could end up buying a drab, lifeless stone that looks cheap.
Diamonds are graded in four categories: carat (size), clarity, cut and color. Remembering the proper balance of those 4 big gradings will help you buy a great stone at within your means.
If you just choose a diamond because it's big, or costs less than the others, there's a serious chance that you'll be settled with a rock of lesser quality for too much money. Keep in mind, this will be her one-time-only diamond engagement ring, and for you it's the one shot at getting her to accept your proposal!
Don't forget, though, it isn't an absolute requirement to spend your complete funds on the the biggest and brightest diamond available. Buying a grade or two below absolute perfection should still yield you a very nice diamond. Without permanent debt.
The primary quality component you truly ought not to sacrifice is how well the diamond is cut. How well a diamond is cut greatly influences the amount of light rays it will reflect and therefore, how sparkly it will be. How much sparkle you can see has a lot to do with how the ring looks and a properly cut stone is certain to put a big smile on her face.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Real Reasons For Domestic Violence
To effectively fight domestic violence one must know the causes of domestic violence. And the first step toward knowing that is knowing what they are not.
It is not love, beauty, romance or sexuality. The sexless Puritans are highly violent toward their wives; the unattractive women are just as subject to violence as the attractive ones; and in cultures, such as India and Middle East, that have forbidden romantic love and where marriages are arranged, the violence is worse.
It is not low self-esteem. There are plenty of self-confident football types who are brutal toward their wives and plenty of shy guys who aren't.
It is not personality disorders. Not only are there many cultures in the world where violence against wives is the social norm, but there are in fact cultures in the world that think there's something wrong with the man if he is not violent toward his wife.
It is not thinking oneself a victim. There are plenty of take-charge business and military types who are severely violent toward their wives.
So what are the causes of domestic violence? The best way to ascertain that is to look at cultures in which it is the norm and compare them to cultures in which it isn't. And again and again, the answer is this: The beliefs that encourage domestic violence.
Beliefs such as:
That women are evil;
That man must be head of the family;
That masculinity means controlling the woman;
That women are "sluts," "bitches" or "whores";
That women are exploiters of men;
That women are responsible for the world's suffering;
That women should be second-class citizens and put up and shut up.
Unlike what many in psychology believe, the way one treats the other person is based, not on what one thinks about oneself, but of what one thinks about the other person. So if one has good self-esteem and thinks well about oneself but thinks badly about the other person, then one would not be good to the other person, and no amount of raising one's own self-esteem will alter that. Men's treatment of women is a result, not of what they believe about themselves, but of what they believe about women - either women in general, or about the particular woman with which they share their lives.
Furthermore, unlike what many in psychology believe, it is people's conscious convictions that determine a vast chunk of their decisions. Looking historically we see the vast extent to which people's conscious convictions charted the course of history. And now, as ugly misogynistic beliefs have become more and more prevalent, surprise surprise - we are seeing a vast rise in violence against women, even though we have not seen noticeable changes in men's self-esteem or in the number of people with personality disorders.
And it is only by addressing and changing these ugly beliefs that actually do cause domestic violence, instead of wasting everyone's time on things that don't, that it will finally become possible to do something effective about domestic violence.
It is not love, beauty, romance or sexuality. The sexless Puritans are highly violent toward their wives; the unattractive women are just as subject to violence as the attractive ones; and in cultures, such as India and Middle East, that have forbidden romantic love and where marriages are arranged, the violence is worse.
It is not low self-esteem. There are plenty of self-confident football types who are brutal toward their wives and plenty of shy guys who aren't.
It is not personality disorders. Not only are there many cultures in the world where violence against wives is the social norm, but there are in fact cultures in the world that think there's something wrong with the man if he is not violent toward his wife.
It is not thinking oneself a victim. There are plenty of take-charge business and military types who are severely violent toward their wives.
So what are the causes of domestic violence? The best way to ascertain that is to look at cultures in which it is the norm and compare them to cultures in which it isn't. And again and again, the answer is this: The beliefs that encourage domestic violence.
Beliefs such as:
That women are evil;
That man must be head of the family;
That masculinity means controlling the woman;
That women are "sluts," "bitches" or "whores";
That women are exploiters of men;
That women are responsible for the world's suffering;
That women should be second-class citizens and put up and shut up.
Unlike what many in psychology believe, the way one treats the other person is based, not on what one thinks about oneself, but of what one thinks about the other person. So if one has good self-esteem and thinks well about oneself but thinks badly about the other person, then one would not be good to the other person, and no amount of raising one's own self-esteem will alter that. Men's treatment of women is a result, not of what they believe about themselves, but of what they believe about women - either women in general, or about the particular woman with which they share their lives.
Furthermore, unlike what many in psychology believe, it is people's conscious convictions that determine a vast chunk of their decisions. Looking historically we see the vast extent to which people's conscious convictions charted the course of history. And now, as ugly misogynistic beliefs have become more and more prevalent, surprise surprise - we are seeing a vast rise in violence against women, even though we have not seen noticeable changes in men's self-esteem or in the number of people with personality disorders.
And it is only by addressing and changing these ugly beliefs that actually do cause domestic violence, instead of wasting everyone's time on things that don't, that it will finally become possible to do something effective about domestic violence.
Monday, September 6, 2010
One Crucial Aspect in Strengthening a Relationship
One particular Essential Aspect in Strengthening a Romantic relationship
One way to fortify a relationship is through positive conversation between the lovers. It's common knowledge that communication is a essential element in obtaining a lengthy, pleased and prosperous relationship. Current scientific studies additional explore conversation between partners and discovered that the happiest partners are individuals who} exercise the habit of responding favorably to their partner's achievement.
The cause this habit is so efficient in strengthening the bond between couples is because good reaction does not only boost the ego but additionally validates the person's efforts in reaching success. In a relationship, it is really essential to speak concerning and show that one is pleased about his or her partner's good results. This can remove any notion of threat, jealousy and indifference. Furthermore, research shows that partners who don't often show joy on their lover's successes become dissatisfied with the relationship and likely to call it off in the long run.
Romantic relationships are essential not just because of the need to be dependent on someone but also because it is important for individuals to have somebody to reveal their success with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single but time will certainly come that individuals really feel the must to discover a companion that they'll love and cherish. Love can be simply around the corner and it is only a matter of taking the very first step. In a London dating circumstance, one has much more opportunity of finding a suitable partner. The world will not lead you to the correct individual if you don't fulfill your end of the bargain, that is to take that first action in discovering the One.
One way to fortify a relationship is through positive conversation between the lovers. It's common knowledge that communication is a essential element in obtaining a lengthy, pleased and prosperous relationship. Current scientific studies additional explore conversation between partners and discovered that the happiest partners are individuals who} exercise the habit of responding favorably to their partner's achievement.
The cause this habit is so efficient in strengthening the bond between couples is because good reaction does not only boost the ego but additionally validates the person's efforts in reaching success. In a relationship, it is really essential to speak concerning and show that one is pleased about his or her partner's good results. This can remove any notion of threat, jealousy and indifference. Furthermore, research shows that partners who don't often show joy on their lover's successes become dissatisfied with the relationship and likely to call it off in the long run.
Romantic relationships are essential not just because of the need to be dependent on someone but also because it is important for individuals to have somebody to reveal their success with. There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying single but time will certainly come that individuals really feel the must to discover a companion that they'll love and cherish. Love can be simply around the corner and it is only a matter of taking the very first step. In a London dating circumstance, one has much more opportunity of finding a suitable partner. The world will not lead you to the correct individual if you don't fulfill your end of the bargain, that is to take that first action in discovering the One.
To Walk In Honor And Wisdom Shows Respect
The spoken word came before the written word and it's an effective method for teaching. A toddler will learn quickly to respond to your spoken words. They also learn to respond to a smile. They are sometimes frighten by a Halloween character. They understand communication based on our ability to teach them. Some learn so well that they become social butterfly's.
We must teach them as they grow to respond to good. We don't have to teach evil because it's a natural learned habit. Instead, we as parents must correct or point out bad behavior. To walk in wisdom is an honor and most of the time we walk unaware. If you lack wisdom, let him ask. It's a guideline, a requirement and it's so important that it's coupled with understanding.
There is a promise associated with honor your mother and father so that you may live the good or long life. Disobedience can hinder progress. The weight is on your shoulders and not your parents even if they never deserved your respect. It's important that we learn how to replenish each family member's emotional bank account. If we don't, their emotional account may be forced into overload. This could cause and lead to all sorts of family emotional behavior.
I'm not perfect and I don't always get it right, but to walk in wisdom and with honor for parents spells respect. We must be humble and patient and sometimes it's alone when wisdom is upon us. I'm not certain that age is your only chance, but I am certain that in speaking the word, I'm sometimes puzzled as to who has spoken.
We must teach them as they grow to respond to good. We don't have to teach evil because it's a natural learned habit. Instead, we as parents must correct or point out bad behavior. To walk in wisdom is an honor and most of the time we walk unaware. If you lack wisdom, let him ask. It's a guideline, a requirement and it's so important that it's coupled with understanding.
There is a promise associated with honor your mother and father so that you may live the good or long life. Disobedience can hinder progress. The weight is on your shoulders and not your parents even if they never deserved your respect. It's important that we learn how to replenish each family member's emotional bank account. If we don't, their emotional account may be forced into overload. This could cause and lead to all sorts of family emotional behavior.
I'm not perfect and I don't always get it right, but to walk in wisdom and with honor for parents spells respect. We must be humble and patient and sometimes it's alone when wisdom is upon us. I'm not certain that age is your only chance, but I am certain that in speaking the word, I'm sometimes puzzled as to who has spoken.
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