Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Long Distance Relationship Advice - Ways to Make It Work

Have you fallen for a guy in another city? Do you find yourself worrying about how to conquer the challenge posed by the miles between you? Are you dying for some solid long-distance relationship advice? If so, read on for some solid advice about how to know if your long-distance relationship can really stand the test of time.
Long distance relationships are a challenge. You don't get to spend time with the person enough to solidify things. It's easy to fall into a fantasy of who they are, because your connection is build on tenuous things, time spent on the phone rather than gazing in each other's eyes. Emails rather than touches. Therefore, it's important to keep the following tips in mind.
Tip #1 - Know Your End-Game
This might be the most important piece of long distance relationship advice. When you're dating someone in town, you can dawdle, take you time, and not worry about where things are going for a while. In a long-distance relationship, you need to know what the long term plan is. How long to do expect to be apart for? How do you expect to end up in the same city?
If you can't answer those questions, you need to either downgrade the relationship to a fling, or find somebody more local.
Tip #2 - Keep Your Social Life Active
A lot of people in a long-distance relationship find themselves sitting by the phone, and they neglect their real-world social life. But phone calls and IMs and skype aren't replacements for real human contact. If you want to avoid putting too much expectation on your long distance relationship, you must keep your local social life active. This also means allowing your partner to have a local social life, too. It can be hard to keep jealousy in check when he tells you about all the fun people he was hanging out with, but you have to trust him if you want him to trust you.
Tip #3 - See Each Other When You Can
This is a very important bit of long distance relationship advice, because it is a good marker of your commitment to the relationship. You need real, in-person face time to know if things have a chance of working. If you aren't making that a priority, then you're never going to know, and you'll be stuck in limbo for a very long time.
Lots of people in long-distance relationships worry about the daily phone call, text, or email, but in the grand scheme of things that is much less important that the time you get to spend together. Be relaxed about the phone calls. Appreciate the time you take with each other.
Lastly, remember that when you do visit each other, one of you is on vacation, so it's not quite the real world.
If you can follow this long distance relationship advice, you'll have a good chance of seeing if your relationship is really the thing for you, or if its just a pleasant diversion until you find someone awesome who's also local. Good luck, and remember to enjoy it! Relationships are supposed to be fun!

How to Deal With Uncertainty in Your Relationship

When or if uncertainty, doubt, or an unsettled feeling hits your home it's time to talk. If there's one thing you should be sure of, it should be the one you love. Suspicion and mistrust does not make for a healthy loving relationship. Furtiveness should not be excused excepted or ignored. Communication is undoubtedly the only way to deal with that uncertain feeling you have.
The reason communication is important is because you need the reassurance from your partner to make that uncertainty feeling cease. Talking it out is the only way; sometimes people mistake ones actions for something that really may not be.
Take for instance your partner has been having a stressful week without your knowledge and did not want to weigh you down. However, you are feeling left out and wondering what is going on. Your mate is short with you, not hungry, sleeps whenever they can, late from work and all their normal habits has changed. You are left trying to understand their new actions. When actually they are trying to spare you from the stress they are dealing with, not knowing what this is causing you. Now if something like this is left to your imagination it will take your mind somewhere you wouldn't want to be. Communication is the tool that will help both sides of any uncertainty that might exist.
There are some cases where your uncertainty is warranted based on the actions of your mate over a period of time and these actions has proved that your mate has been untruthful, deceptive and sneaky. Communication will also lead to solid certainty of your mate. With the lines of communication constantly open if there is truly a problem this is a way to continuously work to better this problem or talk out what avenue's will need to be taken. Either way uncertainty in a relationship is a feeling that is definitely worth talking about and worth getting definite answers.
A healthy relationship is definitely certain and is not uncertain. Weather there is or is not a problem that exists or does not exist communication is the only way to get those uncertain questions answered and dealt with.
Uncertainty can be dealt with, but, it has to be dealt with, with communication. This is the way to air those uncertainties and get truthful answers. With those answers, the solutions will also come. None of this can be done without communication.